Back in Blog

Why the hell would anyone want to read the ramblings of an under educated cigar chewin' truck mechanic anyway? I dunno, but to pass the time I've tried just about everything since launching my first blog in 2005, to which I posted twice. I found it may need a second chance, so here I go.
It's not that I'm bored, or I quit drinking and I have all this new found time to spend. (I still drink plenty ...hic-up) It's that I quit my job 6 years ago and retired. My new days of self employment allow some self time that I yearned for but didn't exactly know what to do with. 4 months of the year I work 60-90 hours a week, and the other 8 months I work for 6 or so hours a day, and fuck off the rest. Not to say this expression of words is fucking off, but to my wife, had she read my blog, would probably say I'm fucking off.
I decided some time ago, I'd spend my fuck off time playing golf, eating out, learning tai chi, creating yard art out of metal with my welder, making a vodka still, writing my third book, getting my first book published, completeing my second book and getting it published, organizing my desk, office, dresser, garage, and personal effects, building a fire place for the patio, shit like that.
I realized though, I have way to many fucking hobbies for any one person to get good at anything. I'm a good mechanic, but that's only because I was forced to do it in repition for 15 years. I don't like working on shit, I was never a gearhead. When I got my first car I didn't even know how to change the fucking oil! I could dismantle the heating duct work to allocate a hiding place for my bowl, though.
Everytime I would be introduced to another male who envied my carreer I would have to sit through " Yeah, I put a four and a quarter cam with rhodes lifters in it to do like, low 9's and edelbroch intake with mallory ignition should get like 500 horse at the rear wheel if the humidity is below 40" "STOP", I'd say. "Not only do I not give a fuck, I have no fucking idea what your talking about." I was never that kind of mechanic. I fix broken shit, that's it. If you need a brake job, fine. If you want to have me power your son's tricycle with the engine from your rototiller, no.
One gear head truck driver, ( By the way, all truck drivers are gear heads. And, they have a toolbox just like mine at home, full of snap on only tools.) saw that every truck was getting new shocks but his. After weeks of complaining about the shocks, (boss said no, by the way) he confided in me that he didn't care about the ride, he just didn't want to beat the truck with these under performing shocks. Aww. How could I deny this guy the right to take care of his rig, I mean, I was the head mechanic in the shop right?
So, the asshole comes in on a friday, leaves the truck for service, and while he's gone I take a can of brake clean & get all the grease off the shocks. Then I rattle canned em' black. Then, I took a socket one size too big and ran it over the nuts to make it look like they had been changed.
He comes back from lunch, sees the shocks, and like an Indian looking at litter, a single tear falls from his eye. "Thanks man" he said. I told him to let me know how they work out.
Next week I see this asshole pull up and I run right over. "How those new shocks work out?" I asked.
"It's like a whole new truck. They made all the difference in the world."

And so begins another blog. Tune in next time for, "Why I suck at guitar, and every other instrument I own"